I didn’t just pick a negative stereotype of parenting and try to revert it. I have a story that some people relate to and others that want to inquire about. So I created this platform. I’m not a family counselor, I have no education in therapy, I don’t consider myself a mentor; I’m really not even that great of a guy sometimes. I just have a message that’s backed with a specific experience. My experience. I’ve learned a great deal of lessons throughout my story. The number one lesson life has taught me is who you were doesn’t have to dictate who you want to be. For me, being a shitty husband/partner doest have to correlate to fatherhood. Divorced and estranged fathers can and should equally raise their children; moreover, that they’re not any less of an effective parent because of their cliché.
I’m definitely not promoting my position, I’d never advocate divorce or single parenting. I think that a man (and woman) should try every means possible to create an environment that shows proper examples of a relationship. Life doesn’t always end up that way. Conflict happens, we make mistakes, we sin, we turn what was something positive and abuse it. I’m simply saying you don’t have to be condemned to it. Society seems to look down on divorced men and hold them in contempt. When it comes to this blog, for the purpose of “branding” I didn’t put my finger on “divorced dad parenting”, it wasn’t by design. It just happens to be the path that to which my life has unfolded.
There are some that still pin my name and character to the “faux pas” of my past. Certain people who think that I have no soap box to stand on. And I get it, not everyone has to like me and that’s alright. Just like an election nobody is going to win the whole vote, but there’s a middle ground of a few percent that can be impacted by my content. I’m ok with letting go of the 40-45% that isn’t going to like you no matter what. Their preconceived notions of who I am or have become to be, is their own flaw to face. I think that being genuine always wins, it will piss some people off but their opinion of me or lack of respect for me, isn’t work my voice or authenticity.
I can’t take to heart the stigma of the “bag guy” label. I’m just not everyone’s cup of tea. That being said, I can and will learn from my mistakes, I can and will improve as a person from those lessons learned. Most of all, I can and will apply those lessons learned and improvements to what I love best: Fathering. This is what I’ve developed so far from my aftermath.
Live with a clean conscience:
Forgive yourself and work to be better. Be okay with who you are. Treat others right.
Make mistakes, and move on:
Everyone does. Take responsibility and hold yourself accountable. Tomorrow is an opportunity to be better.
Identify core values:
Live by them. Develop who you are and use your values to steer your decision-making.